6wks from today and Faith and Josiah will be off to school. We are stepping away from homeschooling and entering the public school system again. Sharing this news has been easy at times and difficult at others. I find it depends really on who I’m sharing it with. Sharing it with other homeschoolers has been the most difficult because while I don’t believe they are judging me for my decisions, I do feel guilty for not being able to handle all that homeschooling two children entails.
I know where the guilt comes from…ME!! In my perfect world, I’d be the most organized, passionate, exciting, and purposeful mom/teacher my kids could ever have. I’d have a clear view of the lessons I wanted my children to learn and not just those surrounding the 3 R’s but also those lessons of the heart and mind that cannot be taught from any book. Well, save from the Bible. 🙂 In my perfect world, I’d be so dedicated to their success in schooling that I’d not become stunted by the challenges that inevitably come but rather, I’d pull myself up by the boot straps and call upon those around me and on my Lord to help me navigate the ups and downs.
Now, I don’t really believe myself to be this monster of a teacher/mom. Honestly, I don’t. I guess it’s hard to put it into words, actually. I mean, by not homeschooling Faith and Josiah am I saying that I CAN’T homeschool? That I’m not physically or mentally (or emotionally!!) ABLE to? Am I saying that there are challenges too big for me to meet? That I just don’t WANT to meet them?
*sigh* I just don’t know. It’s all quite overwhelming at times, honestly.
We’ve always tried to take things one day at a time and this area of our lives is no different. We’ve tried to stay flexible as our kids have grown and we’ve seen their needs in various areas. We’ve always taken into account not just their academic success but their emotional and spiritual “health”, as well. We’re decent parents! We love our kids! We want what’s best for them!
But is homeschooling what’s best for them right now? Eric and I have decided that it’s not and, honestly, I am quite OK with that.
Lord, Your ways are not our ways; I acknowledge that this morning and ask that You would continue to open our eyes to the path You want us to take with our family in this issue of schooling and in all areas of our lives. May Your Perfect Will be done in all our lives. Shape us with each passing day to be bright testiments to Your love and saving power. I trust You. In Jesus’s Awesome Name, Amen and AMEN!!
Kim:
(((HUGS))) Don’t beat yourself up! You are an awesome mom, who adores her kids, and is doing the very best for them that you know how to do. There is NOTHING more to say. Your children are blessed to have a mommy that cares so much for them.
Love, Tonja
I believe there are “seasons” in our life when we are called to do certain things. Perhaps this is not the season for you to homeschool. I feel if God opened up slots in Nova for Faith and Josiah, then this is the season for them to be there. You have not signed them to life there. It is for this year, and then God will show you if it is for the next. I know that the public school does not look like the schools that you and Eric grew up in,,, BUT. remember this great truth from the Bible.. Greater is He that is in you then He that is in the world. Keeping them bathed in prayer and living and teaching godly principals at home has been and always will be the best teaching they will recieve fof life.
Mom